Show Notes Episode 89: How Does a Man Get Away with Calling Women Bitches and Hoes in a Story?

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Today’s episode is part of a series called Home. Writing Class Radio helped produce a documentary with Chapman Partnership, a homeless center in South Florida, exploring the meaning of home. Our documentary will air on PBS, date (tba).

On this episode, you will hear a story by Marvin Jenkins, a past student, poet and dad. Marvin lost his home after he wrote an explicit text message to his girlfriend’s best friend and she kicked him out. Marvin has always been in love with Serena, but drugs got the best of him. 

Marvin’s essay is a great example of how taking responsibility for your actions in a story creates a reliable narrator. The voice in this essay also exemplifies how you can say ugly things, if you own that they are ugly. 

Writing Class Radio is co-hosted by Allison Langer (www.allisonlanger.com) and Andrea Askowitz (www.andreaaskowitz.com). This episode of Writing Class Radio is produced by Matt Cundill of Sound Off Media Company, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer. Mia Pennekamp is our media specialist.

Theme music is by Ari Herstand. Additional music by Podington Bear.

There’s more writing class on our website (www.writingclassradio.com), Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/writingclassradio/), Instagram and Twitter (@wrtgclassradio).

If you love the lessons you get on each episode, you can get them ALL in one place--our three-part video series--for $50. Click Video Classes on our website.

Writing Class Radio is open to submissions from our listeners. Go to the submissions page on our website for guidelines. We pay!

If you want to be a part of the movement that helps people better understand each other through storytelling, follow us on Patreon. For $10/month Andrea will answer all your publishing questions. For $25/month you can join Allison’s First Draft weekly writers group, where you can write and share your work. Go to www.Patreon.com/writingclassradio or click here to support us.



Oh SHIT, My Mom's Reading My Memoir! Wait...What? She Likes It!

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What do we do when the characters in our memoirs are the people we love in our lives, especially when we don’t portray them as saints?

One writer, Pam Mandel, has this to say:

My memoir released last week (IKR!) and the thing I'd been eating my own liver over -- my mom reading it -- turned out to not be the awful experience I'd buckled up for. My book includes drugs, sex (not the sexy kind), domestic violence, bad decisions, and a clear-eyed look at the results of the apathetic parenting of the 70s. I had been wracked with dread that my mom would take it very personally and be angry with me. Through the course of writing it, the nagging voice I had to shut down was her response, though now I wonder if that wasn't my brain reframing it to play yet more silencing games. I'm not saying your people won't be mad or hurt or whatever, only that we can't know until they read the story, and we can't allow our fear of how our people are going to react stop us. 

To order Pam’s book The Same River Twice from our favorite indy, Click HERE!

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Episode 88: Should I Stay or Should I Leave This Country (Show Notes)

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Today’s episode is part of a series called Home. Writing Class Radio helped produce a documentary to help end homelessness for Chapman Partnership, a homeless center in South Florida.

On this episode, you will hear a story by writer Tiffanie Drayton who takes an idea that most Americans hold about our country and turns it on its head. Typically, people come to America to seek asylum. But, Tiffanie left America to seek asylum. She left because she didn’t feel safe here as a Black American. 

Tiffany’s essay was published in the New York Times on June 12, 2020, which led to an agent signing and a 250k book deal. You’ll hear that story plus our conversation with Tiffanie about her experience as a Black person in America. Tiffanie came to America from Trinidad at four years old. She talks about her privilege as a dual citizen and her responsibility as a writer to call herself out for that privilege. 

Tiffanie Drayton (@draytontiffanie) is working on a book about fleeing American racism.

Writing Class Radio is co-hosted by Allison Langer (www.allisonlanger.com) and Andrea Askowitz (www.andreaaskowitz.com). This episode of Writing Class Radio is produced by Virginia Lora, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer. Mia Pennekamp is our media specialist.

Theme music is by Ari Herstand. Additional music by Podington Bear.

There’s more writing class on our website (www.writingclassradio.com), Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/writingclassradio/), Instagram and Twitter (@wrtgclassradio).

If you love the lessons you get on each episode, you can get them ALL in one place--our three-part video series--for $50. Click Video Classes on our website.

Writing Class Radio is open to submissions from our listeners. Go to the submissions page on our website for guidelines. We pay!

If you want to be a part of the movement that helps people better understand each other through storytelling, follow us on Patreon. For $10/month Andrea will answer all your publishing questions. For $25/month you can join Allison’s First Draft weekly writers group, where you can write and share your work. Go to www.Patreon.com/writingclassradioor click here to support us.

Launching Wednesday 10/20/20 (show notes)

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Episode 87: At Home in My Skin

Today’s show is part of a series called Home. Writing Class Radio helped produce a documentary to help end homelessness for Chapman Partnership, a homeless center in South Florida. We put out a public call for submissions for stories about home. The call brought so many different and fascinating takes. Thank you to all the people who submitted stories. 

In our series, you’ll hear a story about a woman who is torn between two homes, a man who finds home through love with a woman while he’s dealing with addiction, and a woman who finds home in another country less racially divided. 

Today’s story by Mary Ann Parker is about feeling at home in your skin. Trigger warning: This story contains strong language and images and is not appropriate for children. Sexual violence is discussed. 

Mary’s story shows how to expertly plant seeds, which is a way to drop hints and lead your reader to your conclusion. 

Mary Ann Parker is a war veteran and a student in our class. She is working on a memoir.

Writing Class Radio is co-hosted by Allison Langer (www.allisonlanger.com) and Andrea Askowitz (www.andreaaskowitz.com). This episode of Writing Class Radio is produced by Matt Cundill (of the Sound Off Media Company), Evan Surminski, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer. Mia Pennekamp and Ariel Henley are our media specialist.

Theme music is by Ari Herstand. Additional music by Podington Bear.

There’s more writing class on our website (www.writingclassradio.com), Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/writingclassradio/), Instagram and Twitter (@wrtgclassradio). 

If you love the lessons you get on each episode, you can get them ALL in one place--our three-part video series--for $50. Click Video Classes on our website.

Writing Class Radio is open to submissions from our listeners. Go to the submissions page on our website for guidelines. We pay!

If you want to be a part of the movement that helps people better understand each other through storytelling, follow us on Patreon. For $10/month Andrea will answer all your publishing questions. For $25/month you can join Allison’s First Draft weekly writers group, where you can write and share your work. Go to www.Patreon.com/writingclassradio or click here to support us.

Join us at The Sanibel Island Writers Conference Oct. 24-25, 2020. The conference (this year) is VIRTUAL and FREE Sat. noon-8 ET and Sun. noon-7 ET. Andrea and Allison teach from 12-1 ET on Sat. Sign up now.Description goes here.

I Went to CVS to Pick up My Prescription and Left with The Last Multi-pack of Charmin.

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Yesterday, I left my house for the first time in 10 days to go to CVS to pick up a refill on a prescription. I was planning to use the pharmacy drive-through, but when I got to the store, the line of cars was long, so I parked, put my mask on, and went into the store. 

I was distracted by the makeup aisle - I need a new lipstick that will make me look less pale and tired on the Zoom calls. Once I had that magic elixir in hand, I proceeded toward the pharmacy counter.

The hair products - particularly those on the end-cap next to a sign that said, Big, sexy hair! - lulled me away from my intended path. This mousse will for sure make me look better on a Zoom call- even my limp ponytail will look better with some BODY.

Determined to make it to the pharmacy counter, I forged on with those two sleight-of-hand products in my arms. Without even slowing my roll, I reached out and grabbed a bag of shelled pistachio nuts in the snack aisle and a new pack of highlighter markers from the school supply section. These will help my productivity for sure.

Two aisles away from my mark, I became consumed by a thought: WHAT IF I RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER? 

I felt a magnetic pull toward the home goods section and once again deviated, this time picking up THE LAST multi-pack of Charmin Ultra Soft Mega Roll Ultra Gentle TP and then running a victory lap around the perimeter of the store. A CVS employee caught my eye and waved me towards the check-out line; there was orange tape on the floor at points 6-feet away from each other to facilitate social distancing while customers waited in line to check out. God DAMN I'm killing it today, I thought as I noticed there was nobody in line. 

I put my catch of the day on the counter, paid, accepted the two bags handed to me by the cashier, and then doused myself with hand sanitizer on my way out the door. With a smile of what I assume was self-satisfaction on my face, I got into my car, sanitized again for good measure, took off the face mask, and drove the two miles back to my house. I unloaded the car, went inside, and, as I considered putting on the lipstick I'd just bought, it dawned on me that I'd left without getting my prescription.

Stephanie Lancaster is an occupational therapist and an assistant professor in the Department of Occupational Therapy at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center in Memphis, TN. She hosts a podcast called On The air (www.OnTheair.us) for individuals interested in occupational therapy.

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allison langer

Allison Langer is a Miami native, University of Miami MBA, writer, and single mom to three children, ages 12, 14 and 16. She is a private writing coach, taught memoir writing in prison and has been published in The Washington Post, Mutha Magazine, Scary Mommy, Ravishly, and Modern Loss. Allison's stories and her voice can be heard on Writing Class Radio, a podcast she co-produces and co-hosts, which has been downloaded more than 750,000 times. Allison wrote a novel about wrongful conviction and is actively looking for an agent. Allison is currently working on a memoir with Clifton Jones, an inmate in a Florida prison.

I Have Heard Many Times that Life Is a Teacher but Never Took It Seriously by Neena Thakur

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Neena Thakur, learning a life lesson.

Neena Thakur, learning a life lesson.

            While growing up, my parents got separated and I had this faith that one day things would change. I prayed I would not be the child of a broken family, but years passed and nothing happened, so I accepted my fate. My father was having health issues and I was worried, “How will I manage to care for him all by myself?” 

            But I believed God knows exactly what we need and at what time. My father’s health condition brought my parents back together. My mother forgot all their fights and her care and concern overcame their differences.

            Years later, while I was going through a tough phase—a  heartbreak and job loss—I was extremely sceptical and hopeless. I’d lost faith. Every little thing annoyed me. Even the care and love from my parents wasn’t a relief.

            I started neglecting my friends and I stopped going out.

            One friend sent me a morning text every day and I never replied. For months he never missed texting me. Then, he called me and I didn’t answer. He kept calling me for three days.

Finally annoyed like anything, I just texted him. I will not use the abusive words I texted him but I still feel ashamed what words I used. He didn’t reply a single text on that entire day. I felt like the winner. Yes, I am the super hero for my depression and I won’t let anyone interrupt my gloomy hopeless depressed retreat.

            Next morning, I heard a vibrating beep and saw his message. I felt a bit relieved as deep down I was feeling guilty. But my ego wouldn’t let me break down its heroic image easily. So I texted him, “OMG you are impossible.”

            I received a smiley and it annoyed me even more.

            By evening, my mood calmed a little and I text him, “I am sorry for my behaviour, but would you please leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone. You have no idea what is happening in my life.”

            His reply came. “My dear, you don’t know what is going on in my life.” 

            He said his brother had a severe accident one month ago. He was in coma, and for the past month he was working extra hours to help his mom and dad to bear his brother’s monthly expenses.

            He had a breakup two months ago that was hard too, “But who has time to worry about that right now. My brother, whom I love dearly, is in ICU.” 

            I was stunned to hear this as he seemed happy, always posting positive thoughts and music videos on social media. 

            He texted, “My dear, your fears and worries never make anything better. I am doing my best for my family and I still believe that only good things happen with good people. I know my brother will get better and I don’t think otherwise.”

            For a moment I thought he was lying to me. It sounded like a film character. Smile always, laugh always seemed artificial to me. But he sent me pictures of his brother. 

 

            Next week, I visited his family and I was shaken by his courage and positive attitude. He loved his life so much. 

            “Life.” I realised I heard this word for the first time.

I was crying over a guy who left me, but I was alive. My body and mind were working well. I had a family; I had friends. All these things I was neglecting just for one person who left me.

            Next morning I sent him a morning greeting and he replied, “You know you have so much love inside you. Keep some for yourself and people like us too. Don’t just throw it all on one single person.”

            More than his words his character influenced me. I wasn’t jumping with joy, nor was it that film scene where the hero finds her clarity finally. But it was a lesson; a reminder that life itself is a gift.

Neena Thakur is a listener from India. She is a kindergarten teacher. She loves dance and spiritual books. She believes she’ll see God in herself and everyone some day, until then, she’s trying to learn what life can teach her. For more, you can find her on FaceBook.

Prompt, Response, and Comments

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Student Maxine Poupko at work on a story.

Student Maxine Poupko at work on a story.

Popular

By Maxine Poupko

Oprah is popular, but sometimes she bugs the shit out of me. 

I succeeded for a few weeks in not watching TV first thing in the morning. But I caved last Sunday. Well, it’s Sunday and I’m going to make an exception on weekends.

Then I changed my rule again. I decided that first thing in the morning I would only let myself watch movies that had a good Jungian based message, something that had redeeming value, instead of Say Yes to the Dressor 90 Day Fiancé. 

So, Sunday I watched Chocolat. I loved it. Great message. Everything changes—life, death, rebirth. Shit happens, but hang in there long enough, and transformation occurs. I searched the Internet for more Jungian based themes.

This morning, I was too cranky to start a movie. So, I altered my plan and let myself watch a few minutes of that annoying Super Soul Sunday, because Edith Eva Eger, a 91-year-old holocaust survivor, was being interviewed. She just published a book about how we all have choices in our lives, no matter what has happened to us. The theme was educational enough for altering my rules.

I liked her. But Oprah was getting on my nerves, and for the first time in my life, I heard myself yelling at my TV.

“Can you shut the fuck up, Oprah?!!”

I’ve seen the popular Ms. O do this countless times in her interviews. She is so focused on what’s in her own mind to say during the interview, that she cuts off her guest. Or the guest will say something so deep and meaningful, and my mind wants to catch it, but Oprah immediately changes the subject to meet her agenda and what’s in her own mind.

I’m not interested in Oprah’s aha moment. I’m interested in mine. 

And please, don’t fucking call everyone who watches a SuperSouler. I am not a SuperSouler!

Since I never yelled at the TV before today, I began to think, OMG! I’m becoming my father.He used to yell like a mad man in front of the TV, when he watched football or tennis matches. It scared the shit out of me when he did it.

Everything was calm and suddenly I’d hear him yell, “You idiot! The ball was out!”

 

Edith Eva Eger was so full of one-liners filled with wisdom that I had to keep rewinding to hear her words. I wanted take a moment to focus on what this astounding holocaust survivor, who has become a world renown psychologist was saying, but Oprah kept rudely interrupting her. 

She was talking about waiting in a line in Auschwitz, with her mother in the middle and she and her sister on either side of her. Dr. Mengele, known as the angel of death, asked her if the woman next to her was her mother or her sister.   

Eger said, “It’s my mother.”

Even at 91, she told Oprah that to this day, she hasn’t forgiven herself. 

Those words caused him to send her mother to one side, and she and her sister to the other side.

He told her, “Your mother is just going to take a shower, and then she will be back.”

Her mother said to her before she walked away, “We don’t know where we’re going, but just remember: No one can take away from you what you put here in your own mind,” as she pointed to her head.

And in the next split second, the very popular Oprah changed the subject.

Our classmates are then asked, “What drew you in and what do you want to know more about. Here are the comments:

Jimmy: What’s Super Soul Sunday?

Nickell: I was drawn to the intimacy. The writer brought me into her world with a great level of detail. So rich and human.

Susan: This narrator is funny. I want to hear more about her father.

Jill: I love how the writer gave a smackdown to someone popular and she used humor to tell the story.

Andrea: I was so drawn in by the specificity of the narrator’s habits and rules and then how she cheats. I’m so in. The line, “I’m not interested in Oprah’s aha moments. I’m interested in mine.” Love it! And the interview. I feel like I am experiencing the interview the way the narrator did.

Help I'm Drowning in Admin

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Hi Writing Class Radio,

Andrea here. I’m so far behind with all the other stuff that goes into making this podcast, that I thought I’d stop and make things worse by complaining about it. Today I set out to send an email blast to our subscribers and listeners and holy shit, I promised I wouldn’t overwhelm you if you joined the list, but now I’ve totally underwhelmed. It’s been more than 8 weeks and episodes are flying out bi-weekly, which means the newsletter is looooong. And it means, you might have some binge listening to do. Also, we announced a Spring SALE for April on our 3-part video series, which gives you all the tips we love—how to start, finish, and everything in between—for just $40. The sale ends soon, so jump on it here. And then I noticed that our blog was 11 weeks behind. If you didn’t know, I’ve been writing a #weeklyessay, so I had to throw up some of those, which you can read HERE. And then Allison said the email looks 80s, which was not a compliment, so I’m trying to flatten its hair and take out its shoulder pads.

#writerslife, #amwriting, #amcomlaining, #writingcommunity, #podcastingproblems